Do you ever feel boring? Sometimes boring is good because it means nothing is going wrong, but when you’re in a conversation, say at a party, you most likely don’t want to be thought of as dull or boring. You probably have many conversations in a day. Some are with friends and colleagues who know you well; others are with complete strangers. No matter who you are talking to, you have the power to be more interesting in conversations.
Here are three tips on how to be more interesting in conversations:
Tip #1: Ask More Thoughtful Questions
Rather than focusing on the what, where and when of a story, get into the why and how. Why did you make that decision? How did it make you feel? Sometimes such questions can catch people off guard, but that’s a good thing…a really good thing!
When you elicit an emotional response or trigger someone’s passions, they will automatically be more engaged in the conversation. Taking an interest in others in turn makes you more interesting. Experts on interpersonal relationships say that making another person feel important is the number one way to win them over and make an impact. By showing a genuine interest with thoughtful questions, you can be more interesting in conversations and make true connections.
Tip #2: Be More Vulnerable
Now flip the tables and bring your emotions into the conversation. Often we hide our vulnerabilities to conform to social norms. We’re also conditioned to have transactional conversations and to follow a script. This status quo mentality is what makes people BORING with a capital SNORE!
When sharing stories or discussing an aspect of your life, keep the setup to a minimum and focus more about what you were thinking and feeling. That inter-monologue is what actually makes you interesting and that’s what people want to hear. That’s not to say you should be narcissistic and only talk about yourself in conversation. But be more willing to open up, even to strangers, to show who you really are.
Tip #3: Use Nonverbal Attractions
Being a good listener is a key part of how to be more interesting in conversations. Once you ask those thoughtful questions, listen to the answers and push onward from there. While you’re listening be sure you’re making eye contact and not looking around for the next better conversation or what’s being served on the buffet. Keep your toes and body pointed to the other person and don’t close off your body by crossing your arms. Also, nod at them throughout their turn to speak. Studies show that three consecutive nods will keep someone else engaged and make them want to continue talking.
Try these tips on how to be more interesting in conversation next time you’re chatting. We bet you and the other person will both be more engaged and find a deeper connection.
Sources: LifeHacker, The Huffington Post and Science of People